The 5 Love Languages
February, 2019
I must admit, throughout high school and college I did not enjoy reading. That all changed when I met a fellow strength coach back in 2001 named Scott Bird whose passion for reading rubbed off on me. Once I got started, I just wanted to read more – I couldn’t believe there was so much knowledge to be gained.

The first books were about football and leadership, such as Bobby Bowden’s book “The Bowden Way”. Eventually, my readings shifted to training such as Tudor Bompa’s “Periodization” and Joe Kenn’s “The Coach’s Strength Training Playbook”. I read anything and everything I could get my hands on, as if making up for lost time.

As my passion for reading grew, I took a page out of former Athletic Director, Mike Alden’s book and displayed a couple of my recently read books on the corner of my desk. It worked better than intended in creating conversation topics for people who came into my office.

I remember the day one of our Graduate Assistants walked in my office to ask me questions about my stack of books, his name was Ramy Mosbah. He had questions about why I chose the kinds of books I read, and many other questions, almost to the point where I felt myself getting a little annoyed.

Despite my annoyance, I entertained the discussion and I’m thankful I did because Ramy had a book he thought would be of great benefit to me and those around me. Immediately I wondered what training or leadership book he knew of that I hadn’t already heard of. But then, he asked me if I had ever heard of The 5 Love Languages.

Shortly after telling me about it, Ramy brought me that book and told me he wanted me to be the best husband and dad I could be. I remember pausing and thinking about the impact that moment could potentially have on my life and those around me.

The premise of the book is there are five emotional love languages, that is, five ways people speak and understand emotional love. We may feel love and appreciation differently than others, and we may also give love and appreciation differently. The 5 Love Languages are:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

Through reading this book I learned which were the best ways to effectively communicate with others. Obviously, we can’t give certain people gifts or be physically touching random people. However, with just some “common sense” as my mother used to say, we can learn to be more effective communicators. This book has been, and continues to be, one of my most recommended books.


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