We’ve got to flip the mindset a lot of coaches still carry. Yes, your assistants are there to assist you, but you’re also there to serve them. That’s what servant leadership looks like. Leadership isn’t standing above people and barking orders. Leadership is getting underneath people and helping them stand taller. It’s investing in them, teaching them, guiding them, and preparing them for what’s next. That’s how you build strong programs and strong people.

Too many times I hear stories about assistants leaving the profession, not because they weren’t capable, not because they didn’t love the work, but because they were treated poorly. They were disrespected, overworked, undervalued, and made to feel small. I know both sides of this personally. I’ve been led by incredible supervisors who cared, supported me, and pushed me the right way. I’ve also been led by supervisors who abused their power, who made the job miserable, and who believed that’s just “how it is.”

Let me be very clear. Just because you were treated a certain way doesn’t give you the right to repeat that cycle. Hurt people who refuse to heal often turn around and hurt others. That doesn’t make you strong. That doesn’t make you tough. That doesn’t make you “old school.” It makes you smaller. It means you’ve got work to do. And that’s okay, as long as you’re willing to do that work. Address your past, deal with whatever shaped you negatively, and choose to lead differently.

Our job as leaders is to grow, not to justify dysfunction. If you want to lead well, you’ve got to take an honest look at how you treat people. You’ve got to ask yourself if you’d want to work for you. You’ve got to look at whether people under your leadership are thriving, learning, and staying inspired, or if they’re counting the days until they can leave. If you want respect, start by giving it. If you want loyalty, earn it through character and consistency.

And don’t forget, your assistants aren’t the only ones watching. Your athletes are watching too. They see how you talk to your staff. They hear how you speak about people when they’re not in the room. They feel the culture you create. If we want athletes who show respect, integrity, accountability, and character, then we’ve got to model that. Culture isn’t built in a speech. Culture is built in behavior.

So this is a challenge to all of us, myself included. Take an introspective look at your leadership. Do the hard evaluation. Where can you be better? Where can you be more patient? Where can you be more supportive? Where can you show more humanity? Assistants aren’t stepping stones. They’re people who are helping you do your job and helping your program succeed. Treat them like they matter, because they do.

One day, your title will be gone. Your office will belong to someone else. The games you won will fade from memory. What won’t fade is how you made people feel. How do you want to be remembered? How do you want people to talk about you when your name comes up years from now? What kind of legacy do you want to leave in this profession?

If we want better programs, better environments, and better people in this field, it starts with leadership. Servant leadership. Respect. Accountability. Growth. Be the leader you wish you had. Be the leader your assistants deserve. And watch what happens to your culture when people know they’re valued, supported, and led with purpose.