Living Apart
APRIL, 2019
As many of you know I recently took a new position with the University of Louisville. My family will be joining me at the end of the school year in May and I can’t wait! In the meantime, it’s a challenge to live apart, but we’re actually getting good at it (which is NOT a vote to continue it though).
For the past two years I have been working in one state while my family has been living in another. I wouldn’t say it’s been easy, but it hasn’t been as difficult as I would have imagined.
As I think about work life integration and understanding the five love languages, living and working in two different states presents a unique set of circumstances. Integrating the lives of my wife and kids with my schedule, while 300 miles apart, is a different game compared to when we’re all under one roof. While I was working at Arkansas State, one of the ways I was able to make things work is I accepted a part time position rather than a full-time position. This allowed me additional time to travel back-and-forth as often as I needed. I was able to set my calendar and scheduling to my advantage and while I put a lot of “highway miles” on my truck, it has been worth it.

The transition and distance forced me to become a better communicator. I found every time I had a spare minute I would call to check in. It became routine for me, and I found myself becoming more efficient with my time. Sometimes we discover things and get better on accident – I wish I could say I planned it all out and executed flawlessly, but sometimes it just happens!

The main challenge I see now when I get to visit is resisting falling into old patterns of communication. It’s a challenge to continue the good communication while integrating myself seamlessly back into my family’s life and schedule.

I’ve been able to grow tremendously in every aspect of my life – spiritually, physically and mentally. My eating habits have improved with cooking every day and I’ve started my own independent supplement business.

I’m looking forward to the day my family joins me, but until then I will continue improving in every aspect of my life that I can. My goal with this post is to help others by sharing my experiences as so many people have helped me.


I am available by email at performance@pativey.com, on social media, or the contact form below.


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