Advice to My Younger Self

I know I’m dating myself here, but I’m 46 years old and I’ve been coaching since I was 25. There’s a lot to be learned over the course of 20 years, and my whole goal of Pat Ivey Performance is to give coaches a resource using all the knowledge gained, people met, and experiences had.

So today as I’m looking back and wishing I could talk to my 25-year-old self, the one thing I would be sure to say is, “spend most of your social time investing in positive relationships.” I can look back on my younger days and see where I took the time to invest in positive relationships. Those are the relationships which continue paying off today, both personally and professionally. 

I think even back then, deep down I had an inkling, but now I can say with confidence that the most important relationship I will ever have with another person is with my mate. I met my wife in college and we dated for several years, ultimately marrying and have been together since. 

Fortunately, I was able to learn at an early age the importance of investing and spending time with positive people. This couldn’t ring more true than with the person you choose to spend your life with. Again, I can say with 100% certainty that this is one of the most important decisions ever I made. 

Because I can’t go back and talk to my 20 year old self, I’ll give my suggestion to you, and that is to make sure the person who you’re spending the most time with is someone who inspires and encourages you to be the best person you can be. And on top of that, make sure that person is also a person you want to help to be a better person as well.

I can bring up all the cliches about having a ‘ride or die’ or ‘partner in crime’ or what have you – she’s ALL of them. Through it all, the highs and lows, she’s the one person I can count on to be there and to bring out the best in me. If you’re lucky enough to find that kind of person, keep them; and if you’re still looking for that person, know that it takes time and it takes hard work, especially as a coach. We truly are a rare breed and it takes a certain kind of person, a certain kind of understanding to be a coach’s partner in life.